SPLING MOVIES
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MACHETE - A satisfactory 6! Commercial grindhouse spin-off complete with schlocky performances, gore, ultra-violence, nudity and pumping action. Good, but could have been so much more. Like: Planet Terror
MAD MONEY - A flat 5! A simple, fun and light chick flick heist story. Good rapport with a few laughs. Like: Hot Money, Office Space
MADAGASCAR 2: ESCAPE TO AFRICA - A solid 7! Same cast, refined characters, crisp animation and more consistent humour for all ages. Better than part 1. Like: Madagascar
MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - A flat 5! Drama overrides comedy in this strange melodramatic and predictable mix of adult themes. Like: Why Did I Get Married Too?
MADE IN DAGENHAM - A solid 7! Great performances from a solid ensemble, a smart script and an uplifting true story make this late '60s "girl power - union style" drama entertaining, a real crowd-pleaser! Like: Calendar Girls
MADE OF HONOUR - A flat 5! A light, predictable romantic comedy: new paint, new concept and a few laughs. Like: 27 Dresses, My Best Friend's Wedding
MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - A flat 5! Drama overrides comedy in this strange melodramatic and predictable mix of adult themes. Like: Why Did I Get Married Too?
MAGICIANS - A satisfactory 6! If The Prestige was a low-budget British comedy with a midweight comic duo. Like: Blow Dry, Still Crazy, Peep Show
MAID, THE - An excellent 8! A powerful lead performance, a bittersweet script and deft direction make this Chilean drama-turn-thriller engrossing. Like: One Hour Photo
MAKE IT HAPPEN - A flimsy 4! Tacky, predictable and generic teen dance movie. Step Up without story or imagination. Like: Save the Last Dance
MAMA'S BOY - A flimsy 4! Poor writing sinks this bland, unfunny and silly comedy along with its cast. Like: Mr. Woodcock, Failure to Launch
MAMMA MIA - A satisfactory 6! Buoyant ABBA jukebox musical movie. Pros: Top cast, Greece. Cons: Campy, top cast. Like: Fiddler on the Roof
MAN ABOUT TOWN - A flat 5! Affleck's performance stands out in this manic rollercoaster dramedy about a shallow Hollywood agent. Like: Interview
MAN ON WIRE - An excellent 8! Documentary about greatest artistic crime has the pace, human interest and suspense of a heist thriller. Like: Murderball
MANAGEMENT - A satisfactory 6! An oddball "romcom" starts slowly and then becomes unpredictable, funny and heartwarming. Like: New in Town, Wedding Singer
MAO'S LAST DANCER - A solid 7! An uplifting and emotionally-charged biopic powered by passion, conviction and the triumph of the human spirit. Like: Billy Elliot
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING - A satisfactory 6! This dark, complex dramedy has a great cast, but could've done with more warmth and heart. Like: The Squid & The Whale
MARIE & BRUCE - A flimsy 4! Insufferable dramedy based on an infuriating stage play about a break up. Don't be fooled by big name stars. Like: Trust the Man
MARIGOLD - A flat 5! Bolly/Hollywood fantasy realism fish-out-of-water "romcom" musical set in India. Like: Bride & Prejudice, The Guru
MARINE 2, THE - A flimsy 4! Same plot as The Marine actioner, except Cena is replaced by Dibiase Jr. with an equally wooden performance and very few lines. Like: The Marine
MARLEY & ME - An excellent 8! Solid performances, authentic heartwarming drama and light comedy make this summer movie a hit. Like: Dan in Real Life
MARMADUKE - A third-rate 3! Another crass, low-brow family comedy with talking pets. Like: Beverly Hills Chihuahua
MARRIED LIFE - A satisfactory 6! Great performances from a talented cast in a dark, insightful '40s marriage crime/drama. Like: Dial M for Murder
MARTIAN CHILD - A satisfactory 6! Charming father-son movie in the vein of K-PAX, based on a true story. Like: K-PAX, The Cable Guy
MARS NEEDS MOMS [3D] (PGV, 86 min) - A flimsy 4! A star cast and impressive motion-capture visuals can't override flawed script and characters. Like: Polar Express
MAX PAYNE - A flat 5! Amazing conceptual action imagery is jinxed by poor dramatization and plot holes in this video game adaptation. Like: Hitman
MECHANIC, THE - A satisfactory 6! Solid performances are undercut by a stylish, yet mind-numbingly violent and derivative action-thriller remake of the revenge classic. Like: The Mechanic (1972)
MEET DAVE - A flimsy 4! Cheap gags and loose direction leave this inconsistent alien body comedy wanting... even with Murphy. Like: Not Quite Human
MEET THE SPARTANS - A third-rate 3! Recycled pop culture references are spoofed in the name of a dumb, camp and infantile 300. Like: Epic Movie, 300
MEGAMIND - A solid 7! A vibrant, creative and funny animated superhero actioner with a first-rate comic cast, dazzling visual effects, a rocking soundtrack and an intriguing premise. Like: The Incredibles
MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER, THE - A satisfactory 6! Entertaining made-for-TV drama with decent cast, based on novel by Kim Edwards. Like: Flowers for Algernon
MEN IN THE CITY - A satisfactory 6! Hilarity in this well-written German comedy about several guys each looking for love. Like: Swingers
MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, THE - A satisfactory 6! A sometimes hilarious and unconventional war comedy with fine performances from a solid cast, yet flawed by a lack of focus and genre commitment. Like: Buffalo Soldiers
MERE BAAP PEHLE AAP - A satisfactory 6! Bollywood romance/comedy about family and marriage, starring Om Puri and directed by Priyadarshan. Like: Istham
MESSENGER, THE - A solid 7! A humanistic, character-driven war drama with minimalistic direction and solid performances. Like: Stop-Loss
MICHAEL CLAYTON - An excellent 8! A top-notch legal thriller about corporate cover-ups. Not for everyone. Like: The Rainmaker, The Devil's Advocate
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, THE - A satisfactory 6! Creepy yet entertaining Clive Barker horror adaptation has thrills, scares and gore of a cult slasher. Like: Friday the 13th
MIGHTY HEART, A - A solid 7! Gripping thriller with a real edge about a missing reporter. Based on actual events. Like: The Kingdom, Syriana
MILK - An excellent 8! Penn's powerful performance staples moving and inspiring story of US's 1st openly gay election to public office. Like: Capote
MIRRORS - A flat 5! Inconsistent, long and less-than-scary Korean horror remake doesn't meet its full potential. Like: Geoul sokeuro
MISS CAST AWAY AND THE ISLAND GIRLS - A terrible 2! Horrible, weak attempt at satire in this spoof of Cast Away, Jurassic Park and Miss Congeniality. Like: Disaster Movie
MISS MARCH - A flimsy 4! Poorly made teen sex comedy with a weak script, irritating leads and hardly any laughs. Like: Cougar Club
MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY - A solid 7! Adams and McDormand's performances and a sharp script fuel this light pre-WWII period comedy. Like: Being Julia
MISSING LYNX - A satisfactory 6! Decent low budget animation feature from Spain. Sweet, safe, funny and entertaining. Like: Madagascar
MISSIONARY MAN - A flat 5! A motorcycle Western based on Pale Rider. One of Lundgren's better straight-to-video action movies. Like: High Plains Drifter
MIST, THE - A solid 7! An intense, chilling Stephen King adaptation about fear, government and human nature. Like: The Fog, The Green Mile
MOM'S - A flat 5! Predictable and mediocre straight-to-video romantic comedy with a top cast and a few laughs. Like: Ordinary Decent Criminal
MONSTERS OF THE DEEP - A solid 7! A fascinating 3D animated documentary about prehistoric sea life. A treat for the whole family. Like: Into The Deep
MONSTERS VS. ALIENS - A solid 7! Superficial yet funny animation. Armed to the teeth with special effects and suitable for all ages. Best in 3D. Like: Evolution
MONTE CARLO - A flat 5! A formulaic, predictable and somewhat charming "romcom" escapade. Like: Lovewrecked
MOON - An excellent 8! Haunting deep space Sci-Fi with excellent lead performance. Combines the best elements of 2001: A Space Odyssey and Solaris.
MORE THAN JUST A GAME - A satisfactory 6! Uplifting and insightful docudrama about sport, politics and Robben Island prison in SA. Like: Mean Machine
MORNING GLORY - A satisfactory 6! Light, frothy morning news show comic antics of a new producer shaking things up, make for lightweight, enjoyable and entertaining escapism. Like: The Ugly Truth
MORNING LIGHT - A flat 5! Disney sailing documentary for enthusiasts. Beautiful scenery, but a mundane exercise in reality TV/film. Like: Desperate Passage
MOSTLY GHOSTLY - A flimsy 4! Straight-to-DVD family/horror R.L.Stine book adaptation is low on laughs, scares and intrigue. Like: Goosebumps (TV)
MOTHER AND CHILD - A solid 7! Strong writing, insightful direction and fine performances touch on motherhood, family and relationships. Like: 21 Grams, Lovely & Amazing
MOTHER OF TEARS - A flat 5! Concluding chapter to Argento's Mother trilogy. Vivid, bloody, trashy, old school cult horror. Like: Inferno, Suspira
MOVING MCALLISTER - A flimsy 4! Low budget indie road trip comedy has good visuals, heart and soul, but lacks in plot, comedy and depth. Like: The Sweetest Thing
MR. BONES 2 - A flat 5! His box office numbers speak volumes, but if you're not a Schuster regular - it's best to avoid this prequel. Like: Mr. Bones
MR. FIX-IT - A flat 5! Formulaic and predictable straight-to-video date movie "romcom". Like: My Super Ex-Girlfriend
MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS - A flat 5! An inoffensive, formulaic family comedy with penguins, swayed by your appreciation for Jim Carrey. Like: Zookeeper
MRS. RATCLIFFE'S REVOLUTION - A flat 5! Mediocre Brit comedy drama set in 1960s E.Germany. Lively and entertaining, but Tate amid stock characters. Like: Sixty Six
MULBERRY STREET - A satisfactory 6! Grounded, old school, gritty indie zombie-rat horror with no-name actors that holds suspense of belief. Like: The Rats
MUMMY 3: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, THE - A flat 5! Mediocre CG effects and a serious lack of fun undermine a good franchise and a great cast. Like: The Mummy Returns
MUTANT CHRONICLES - A flimsy 4! This futuristic sci-fi actioner boasts a solid cast, but is comparable with old school video games when it comes to acting, CGI and script. Like: Doomsday
MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL - A flimsy 4! This Dane Cook comedy is often too vulgar or offensive to be funny. Not for everyone. Like: Good Luck Chuck
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D - A satisfactory 6! This serial-killer horror remake is gory, pays tribute to '70s slashers and justifies its gimmicky 3D effects. Like: Scar 3D
MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS - A satisfactory 6! Slow, moody and surface level romance/drama with a solid cast. Like: Closer
MY LIFE IN RUINS - A satisfactory 6! Post card "romcom" in Athens plays out like My Big Fat Greek Vacation. Fun, but lightweight. Like: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
MY SASSY GIRL - A flat 5! Quirky romcom remake with Cuthbert is contrived and more melodramatic than Korean original. Like: My Sassy Girl (2001)
MY SISTER'S KEEPER - A satisfactory 6! Moving, compelling drama, but all-star cast's solid performances are marred by melodrama. Like: The Memory Keeper's Daughter
MYTH, THE - A satisfactory 6! Jackie Chan's big budget action-packed fantasy/adventure is entertaining and fun. Like: National Treasure, Highlander
MACHETE - A satisfactory 6! Commercial grindhouse spin-off complete with schlocky performances, gore, ultra-violence, nudity and pumping action. Good, but could have been so much more. Like: Planet Terror
MAD MONEY - A flat 5! A simple, fun and light chick flick heist story. Good rapport with a few laughs. Like: Hot Money, Office Space
MADAGASCAR 2: ESCAPE TO AFRICA - A solid 7! Same cast, refined characters, crisp animation and more consistent humour for all ages. Better than part 1. Like: Madagascar
MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - A flat 5! Drama overrides comedy in this strange melodramatic and predictable mix of adult themes. Like: Why Did I Get Married Too?
MADE IN DAGENHAM - A solid 7! Great performances from a solid ensemble, a smart script and an uplifting true story make this late '60s "girl power - union style" drama entertaining, a real crowd-pleaser! Like: Calendar Girls
MADE OF HONOUR - A flat 5! A light, predictable romantic comedy: new paint, new concept and a few laughs. Like: 27 Dresses, My Best Friend's Wedding
MADEA'S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - A flat 5! Drama overrides comedy in this strange melodramatic and predictable mix of adult themes. Like: Why Did I Get Married Too?
MAGICIANS - A satisfactory 6! If The Prestige was a low-budget British comedy with a midweight comic duo. Like: Blow Dry, Still Crazy, Peep Show
MAID, THE - An excellent 8! A powerful lead performance, a bittersweet script and deft direction make this Chilean drama-turn-thriller engrossing. Like: One Hour Photo
MAKE IT HAPPEN - A flimsy 4! Tacky, predictable and generic teen dance movie. Step Up without story or imagination. Like: Save the Last Dance
MAMA'S BOY - A flimsy 4! Poor writing sinks this bland, unfunny and silly comedy along with its cast. Like: Mr. Woodcock, Failure to Launch
MAMMA MIA - A satisfactory 6! Buoyant ABBA jukebox musical movie. Pros: Top cast, Greece. Cons: Campy, top cast. Like: Fiddler on the Roof
MAN ABOUT TOWN - A flat 5! Affleck's performance stands out in this manic rollercoaster dramedy about a shallow Hollywood agent. Like: Interview
MAN ON WIRE - An excellent 8! Documentary about greatest artistic crime has the pace, human interest and suspense of a heist thriller. Like: Murderball
MANAGEMENT - A satisfactory 6! An oddball "romcom" starts slowly and then becomes unpredictable, funny and heartwarming. Like: New in Town, Wedding Singer
MAO'S LAST DANCER - A solid 7! An uplifting and emotionally-charged biopic powered by passion, conviction and the triumph of the human spirit. Like: Billy Elliot
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING - A satisfactory 6! This dark, complex dramedy has a great cast, but could've done with more warmth and heart. Like: The Squid & The Whale
MARIE & BRUCE - A flimsy 4! Insufferable dramedy based on an infuriating stage play about a break up. Don't be fooled by big name stars. Like: Trust the Man
MARIGOLD - A flat 5! Bolly/Hollywood fantasy realism fish-out-of-water "romcom" musical set in India. Like: Bride & Prejudice, The Guru
MARINE 2, THE - A flimsy 4! Same plot as The Marine actioner, except Cena is replaced by Dibiase Jr. with an equally wooden performance and very few lines. Like: The Marine
MARLEY & ME - An excellent 8! Solid performances, authentic heartwarming drama and light comedy make this summer movie a hit. Like: Dan in Real Life
MARMADUKE - A third-rate 3! Another crass, low-brow family comedy with talking pets. Like: Beverly Hills Chihuahua
MARRIED LIFE - A satisfactory 6! Great performances from a talented cast in a dark, insightful '40s marriage crime/drama. Like: Dial M for Murder
MARTIAN CHILD - A satisfactory 6! Charming father-son movie in the vein of K-PAX, based on a true story. Like: K-PAX, The Cable Guy
MARS NEEDS MOMS [3D] (PGV, 86 min) - A flimsy 4! A star cast and impressive motion-capture visuals can't override flawed script and characters. Like: Polar Express
MAX PAYNE - A flat 5! Amazing conceptual action imagery is jinxed by poor dramatization and plot holes in this video game adaptation. Like: Hitman
MECHANIC, THE - A satisfactory 6! Solid performances are undercut by a stylish, yet mind-numbingly violent and derivative action-thriller remake of the revenge classic. Like: The Mechanic (1972)
MEET DAVE - A flimsy 4! Cheap gags and loose direction leave this inconsistent alien body comedy wanting... even with Murphy. Like: Not Quite Human
MEET THE SPARTANS - A third-rate 3! Recycled pop culture references are spoofed in the name of a dumb, camp and infantile 300. Like: Epic Movie, 300
MEGAMIND - A solid 7! A vibrant, creative and funny animated superhero actioner with a first-rate comic cast, dazzling visual effects, a rocking soundtrack and an intriguing premise. Like: The Incredibles
MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER, THE - A satisfactory 6! Entertaining made-for-TV drama with decent cast, based on novel by Kim Edwards. Like: Flowers for Algernon
MEN IN THE CITY - A satisfactory 6! Hilarity in this well-written German comedy about several guys each looking for love. Like: Swingers
MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, THE - A satisfactory 6! A sometimes hilarious and unconventional war comedy with fine performances from a solid cast, yet flawed by a lack of focus and genre commitment. Like: Buffalo Soldiers
MERE BAAP PEHLE AAP - A satisfactory 6! Bollywood romance/comedy about family and marriage, starring Om Puri and directed by Priyadarshan. Like: Istham
MESSENGER, THE - A solid 7! A humanistic, character-driven war drama with minimalistic direction and solid performances. Like: Stop-Loss
MICHAEL CLAYTON - An excellent 8! A top-notch legal thriller about corporate cover-ups. Not for everyone. Like: The Rainmaker, The Devil's Advocate
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, THE - A satisfactory 6! Creepy yet entertaining Clive Barker horror adaptation has thrills, scares and gore of a cult slasher. Like: Friday the 13th
MIGHTY HEART, A - A solid 7! Gripping thriller with a real edge about a missing reporter. Based on actual events. Like: The Kingdom, Syriana
MILK - An excellent 8! Penn's powerful performance staples moving and inspiring story of US's 1st openly gay election to public office. Like: Capote
MIRRORS - A flat 5! Inconsistent, long and less-than-scary Korean horror remake doesn't meet its full potential. Like: Geoul sokeuro
MISS CAST AWAY AND THE ISLAND GIRLS - A terrible 2! Horrible, weak attempt at satire in this spoof of Cast Away, Jurassic Park and Miss Congeniality. Like: Disaster Movie
MISS MARCH - A flimsy 4! Poorly made teen sex comedy with a weak script, irritating leads and hardly any laughs. Like: Cougar Club
MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY - A solid 7! Adams and McDormand's performances and a sharp script fuel this light pre-WWII period comedy. Like: Being Julia
MISSING LYNX - A satisfactory 6! Decent low budget animation feature from Spain. Sweet, safe, funny and entertaining. Like: Madagascar
MISSIONARY MAN - A flat 5! A motorcycle Western based on Pale Rider. One of Lundgren's better straight-to-video action movies. Like: High Plains Drifter
MIST, THE - A solid 7! An intense, chilling Stephen King adaptation about fear, government and human nature. Like: The Fog, The Green Mile
MOM'S - A flat 5! Predictable and mediocre straight-to-video romantic comedy with a top cast and a few laughs. Like: Ordinary Decent Criminal
MONSTERS OF THE DEEP - A solid 7! A fascinating 3D animated documentary about prehistoric sea life. A treat for the whole family. Like: Into The Deep
MONSTERS VS. ALIENS - A solid 7! Superficial yet funny animation. Armed to the teeth with special effects and suitable for all ages. Best in 3D. Like: Evolution
MONTE CARLO - A flat 5! A formulaic, predictable and somewhat charming "romcom" escapade. Like: Lovewrecked
MOON - An excellent 8! Haunting deep space Sci-Fi with excellent lead performance. Combines the best elements of 2001: A Space Odyssey and Solaris.
MORE THAN JUST A GAME - A satisfactory 6! Uplifting and insightful docudrama about sport, politics and Robben Island prison in SA. Like: Mean Machine
MORNING GLORY - A satisfactory 6! Light, frothy morning news show comic antics of a new producer shaking things up, make for lightweight, enjoyable and entertaining escapism. Like: The Ugly Truth
MORNING LIGHT - A flat 5! Disney sailing documentary for enthusiasts. Beautiful scenery, but a mundane exercise in reality TV/film. Like: Desperate Passage
MOSTLY GHOSTLY - A flimsy 4! Straight-to-DVD family/horror R.L.Stine book adaptation is low on laughs, scares and intrigue. Like: Goosebumps (TV)
MOTHER AND CHILD - A solid 7! Strong writing, insightful direction and fine performances touch on motherhood, family and relationships. Like: 21 Grams, Lovely & Amazing
MOTHER OF TEARS - A flat 5! Concluding chapter to Argento's Mother trilogy. Vivid, bloody, trashy, old school cult horror. Like: Inferno, Suspira
MOVING MCALLISTER - A flimsy 4! Low budget indie road trip comedy has good visuals, heart and soul, but lacks in plot, comedy and depth. Like: The Sweetest Thing
MR. BONES 2 - A flat 5! His box office numbers speak volumes, but if you're not a Schuster regular - it's best to avoid this prequel. Like: Mr. Bones
MR. FIX-IT - A flat 5! Formulaic and predictable straight-to-video date movie "romcom". Like: My Super Ex-Girlfriend
MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS - A flat 5! An inoffensive, formulaic family comedy with penguins, swayed by your appreciation for Jim Carrey. Like: Zookeeper
MRS. RATCLIFFE'S REVOLUTION - A flat 5! Mediocre Brit comedy drama set in 1960s E.Germany. Lively and entertaining, but Tate amid stock characters. Like: Sixty Six
MULBERRY STREET - A satisfactory 6! Grounded, old school, gritty indie zombie-rat horror with no-name actors that holds suspense of belief. Like: The Rats
MUMMY 3: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, THE - A flat 5! Mediocre CG effects and a serious lack of fun undermine a good franchise and a great cast. Like: The Mummy Returns
MUTANT CHRONICLES - A flimsy 4! This futuristic sci-fi actioner boasts a solid cast, but is comparable with old school video games when it comes to acting, CGI and script. Like: Doomsday
MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL - A flimsy 4! This Dane Cook comedy is often too vulgar or offensive to be funny. Not for everyone. Like: Good Luck Chuck
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D - A satisfactory 6! This serial-killer horror remake is gory, pays tribute to '70s slashers and justifies its gimmicky 3D effects. Like: Scar 3D
MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS - A satisfactory 6! Slow, moody and surface level romance/drama with a solid cast. Like: Closer
MY LIFE IN RUINS - A satisfactory 6! Post card "romcom" in Athens plays out like My Big Fat Greek Vacation. Fun, but lightweight. Like: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
MY SASSY GIRL - A flat 5! Quirky romcom remake with Cuthbert is contrived and more melodramatic than Korean original. Like: My Sassy Girl (2001)
MY SISTER'S KEEPER - A satisfactory 6! Moving, compelling drama, but all-star cast's solid performances are marred by melodrama. Like: The Memory Keeper's Daughter
MYTH, THE - A satisfactory 6! Jackie Chan's big budget action-packed fantasy/adventure is entertaining and fun. Like: National Treasure, Highlander
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