SPLING MOVIES
SPLING MOVIES
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G.I.JOE - A flimsy 4! Cluttered, action-packed, stupid, overblown and thin on plot. A cool, mindless adrenalin rush with no hero. Like: 10,000 B.C.
GABRIEL - A flat 5! Dark, minimalist angel action/horror in the style of Equilibrium. Like: The Crow, Constantine, Highlander, The Matrix
GAME PLAN, THE - A satisfactory 6! Average Disney family comedy bolstered by the The Rock's presence. Like: The Pacifier
GAMEBOX 1.0 - A flat 5! Low budget, no-name cast gaming sci-fi fantasy. Nice concept, but riddled with plot holes and cheap CGI. Like: Stay Alive
GAMER - A flat 5! Action junkie gaming paradise from makers of Crank. Stylized, superficial... sex, guns and rock 'n roll. Like: Crank: High Voltage
GARFIELD GETS REAL - A flat 5! This 70 min CGI animation movie is more faithful than the live-action films but is more about plot than comedy. Like: Garfield
GARFIELD'S FUN FEST - A flimsy 4! Straight-to-video, new animation style is flawed and comedy is lacking. Entertaining for 4-year-olds. Like: Garfield Gets Real
GATHERING, THE - A flat 5! Sluggish Ricci horror/thriller doesn't have the mystery, drama or intrigue of The Sixth Sense. Like: The Mothman Prophecies
GEN - A flat 5! Atmospheric and dark Turkish mystery/thriller. Influenced by One Flew Over A Cuckoo's Nest and Scream. Like: Insanitarium
GENE GENERATION, THE - A flimsy 4! Weak acting, plot and CGI in this cyber-punk Sci-Fi B-movie comic adaptation. No Aeon Flux, Bai Ling fans only. Like: Ultraviolet
GENOVA - A satisfactory 6! A raw, sluggish-to-frustrating drama about grief, with a solid cast and a tense Italian city atmosphere. Like: A Mighty Heart
GENTLEMEN BRONCOS - A flat 5! This bizarre "juvenile" comedy features a hilarious turn from Jermaine Clement, but suffers from Napoleon Dynamite love it/hate it fever. Like: Napoleon Dynamite
GEORGIA RULE - A flat 5! Comedy and drama get jumbled up by decent actresses in this mature chick flick. Like: Sweet Home Alabama
GET LOW - A solid 7! A perfectly cast ensemble mystery drama yarn spurred on by solid performances. Like: Broken Flowers
GET SMART - A satisfactory 6! Carell's charm boosts ordinary remake comedy to next level. Austin Powers meets True Lies. Like: The Naked Gun 33 1/3
GETROUD MET RUGBY - A gritty Afrikaans drama about two broken men, destined to find redemption in the pursuit of their passion, rugby. Like: Forever Strong
GHOST TOWN - A solid 7! Cheesy "Sixth Sense" romantic comedy is lifted by a sharp, dry lead performance. Like: Just Like Heaven
GHOST WRITER (2010) - A solid 7! Polanski concocts an intense Hitchcockian political thriller with fine performances, a suspenseful mystery and great man-on-the-run moments. Like: Vertigo
GHOST WRITER - A flat 5! Vicious, morbid, over-the-top dark horror-comedy. Decent performances, but needs work. Not for everyone. Like: Adaptation
GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST - A flat 5! Middling fantasy romcom blends predictable one-liner romance/comedy with A Christmas Carol as a concept. Like: 13 Going on 30
GIFTED HANDS: THE BEN CARSON STORY - A solid 7! This made-for-TV biographical drama is touching and inspiring, guided by a powerful performance by Cuba Gooding Jr. Like: The Triumph
GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST, THE - A solid 7! This dark crime thriller features solid performances and a gripping involved story about a girl's dark past and retribution. Like: The Girl Who Played with Fire
GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE, THE - A solid 7! Dark swirling crime drama under new direction make this Millennium sequel loosely entertaining, but not as gripping or impressive as "Dragon Tattoo". Like: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, THE - An excellent 8! A dark, moody mystery drama thriller with a swirling, enchanting and brutal story, great casting and solid performances. Like: Twin Peaks
GLEE: THE 3D CONCERT MOVIE - A solid 7! A bouncy, high-energy, uplifting, talented and diverse cast in a music documentary designed to satisfy Gleeks and entertain the rest. Like: Glee (TV)
GOAL! III: TAKING ON THE WORLD - A terrible 2! Disappointing end to a decent sports drama trilogy. This low budget World Cup football b-movie is weak in all departments and doesn't even focus on Goal! hero, Santiago Munez. Like: Goal II
GOD GREW TIRED OF US - A solid 7! A simple yet powerful documentary about four Sudanese boys that restores faith in the human condition. Like: The Kite Runner
GOD'S CHILDREN - A flat 5! Documentary covers first investigation of missionary boarding facility through the eyes of three families. Like: Deliver Us From Evil
GOING THE DISTANCE - A satisfactory 6! A sweetheart co-lead couple, a realistic depiction of long distance relationships and a good few laughs make the bad language bearable - almost. Like: A Lot Like Love
GOLDEN COMPASS, THE - A flat 5! Fantastic visuals, diluted themes and rushed scenes seem like highlights from a bigger movie. Like: The Chronicles of Narnia
GONE, BABY GONE - An excellent 8! Gripping yet disturbing crime/mystery capped off with great performances. Like: The Professional, The Departed
GOOD HAIR - A solid 7! Chris Rock presents a light, yet informative and bittersweet comedy documentary on the hair culture of African-American women. Like: Rize
GOOD LIFE, THE - A satisfactory 6! Good performances in a moving, intimate and depressing drama about a man's struggle to fit in. Like: The River King
GOOD LUCK CHUCK - A third-rate 3! Raunchy locker room "romcom" aimed at teenage boys. Cheap sex jokes and groin hits galore. Like: The Heartbreak Kid
GOOD NIGHT, THE - A flat 5! Disjointed direction/writing from debut director keep characters at a distance. Wry comedy, vague art. Like: Science of Sleep
GOSPEL HILL - A flat 5! A well-intentioned drama about racial tensions with a solid cast, but seriously lacking in the script department. Like: Sunshine State
GOYA'S GHOSTS - A satisfactory 6! Solid performances help sustain this dark, vivid yet slow-moving period piece drama. Like: Amadeus, Quills
GNOMEO & JULIET - A satisfactory 6! This adaptation of Shakespeare's 'Romeo & Juliet' is fun, sweet and imaginative. British sentiment, Elton John hits, light peril and sharp animation make it worthwhile, but nothing special. Like: A Bug's Life
GRACE - A solid 7! The fears of motherhood are awakened in this slow, stylish and atmospheric, yet grisly horror. Like: Teeth
GRACIE - A satisfactory 6! Entertaining coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who wants to play soccer. Like: Bend It Like Beckham
GRAN TORINO - An excellent 8! Intriguing, touching and old-fashioned crime drama with in-form Eastwood in front and behind camera. Like: Dirty Harry
GREAT BUCK HOWARD, THE - A solid 7! Modest, enjoyable showbiz comedy with sharp performances from a cutting Malkovich and a charming Blunt. Like: The Comic
GREEN FLASH - A third-rate 3! Low budget straight-to-video volleyball sports comedy drama with Baywatch's David Charvet. Unimpressive. Like: Impact Point
GREEN HORNET, THE - A flat 5! Terrific action set pieces are offset against a curious lead and corny comedy in this entertaining, over-the-top, anti-superhero popcorn flick. Like: The Phantom
GREEN LANTERN - A satisfactory 6! Loaded with special effects, this new superhero franchise is fast-paced, entertaining and strangely charming. Like: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS 2 - A flimsy 4! Unintentional comedy, violence and an American prison in this low budget "British" prison football gang sequel. Like: Green Street Hooligans
GREEN ZONE - A satisfactory 6! This competent political thriller and thinking man's actioner gets the green light, courtesy of the Bourne Ultimatum's Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass. Like: Body of Lies
GREENBERG - A satisfactory 6! Awkward, prickly suburban dramedy about a man undergoing a midlife crisis with a solid turn from Ben Stiller as the lead. Like: The Squid & The Whale
GRIFFIN & PHOENIX - A satisfactory 6! A dark comedy/romance tearjerker about the value of life. Like: Just Like Heaven, P.S. I Love You
GRINGO WEDDING - A third-rate 3! Racist, homophobic, sexist and stupid cross-cultural "romcom". Amateur production, best avoided. Like: The Heartbreak Kid
GROWN UPS - A flat 5! A childhood basketball team reunite as adults. Sandler's comedy troupe have a bit of light, dumb holiday fun in the Sun. Like: The Benchwarmers
GRUDGE 3, THE - A flimsy 4! Predictable, formulaic, straight-to-DVD, no name horror thriller sequel with poor special effects and lack of heart. Like: The Grudge 2
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS - A flimsy 4! This modern Hollywood retelling boasts an all-star cast and great CGI visuals, but is disappointing - lacking the spirit of the original with "trailer" laughs. Like: Year One
 
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